What About Me
by itsangee
Summary: Set immediately after Fang Book 6 . Do not read if you don't want major spoilers! Songfic to What About Me by Emily Osment. Characters belong to James Patterson. RnR!


**WARNING- IF YOU HAVE NOT READ FANG (BOOK 6) YET AND DON'T WANT ANY SPOILERS THEN DO NOT READ THIS!!!**

**Anyhoo, I do not own Maximum Ride or the song What About Me, it's by Emily Osment.**

**Anyways, if there's anyone who HAS read Fang and reads this, hope you like it! Review!**

I stood on the terrace in the dead of night, re-reading the note from Fang over and over again.

I remembered earlier, when we had been getting ready for Total's and Akila's wedding; Nudge had been playing a CD that came from God-knows-where. Now one of the songs was stuck in my head, on repeat, non-stop. I'd never heard it before; I didn't even know who the singer was. I hadn't had much exposure to music, being brought up in a dog crate and all. But now I knew every word to the stupid song.

_The city is sleeping,_  
_but I'm still awake_  
_I'm dreaming, I'm thinking_  
_what happened today is it right?_  
_I fold into the night_

My hand shook as I re-read the last paragraph of the note over and over again.

He really meant it. He wasn't coming back. This was it- I'd never see him again.

The others were in bed, but I was out on the terrace, leaning on the railings, the wind whipping my hair into my eyes. Just that sent back a thousand flashbacks, the first being Fang saying my hair looked pretty in the sun.

_The flashbacks, the pictures_  
_the letters and songs_  
_The memories, the heart that_  
_you carved on the wall_  
_Its a shame, now that nothings the same_

I knew nothing would ever be the same again. I just knew it. I knew love would just be a dream for me now, forever. I could never feel the same way I felt about Fang- not with Dylan, not with anyone._ I belong with you_, I thought angrily, scrunching up the note slightly. _You belong here, with us, with me_. I stopped myself scrunching the note, and unfolded it back out again. It was the last connection I had to him- I'd never let it out of my sight.

_Now the bridges are burned_  
_and we're lost in the wind_  
_It's time that we sink or swim_

What was he thinking, leaving me like this? He thought he was being all heroic, saving me form danger because I wouldn't be near him. But the danger had gone. Angel had said he'd be the first to die. And he did die- and I brought him back.

_What about you_  
_What about me_  
_What about fairy tale endings_  
_Were you just pretending to be_

I'd risked his life to save it. I'd had no idea if that adrenaline would work or not. I was lucky that it did. He was lucky to be alive.

And this is how he repaid me.

_I'm wondering_  
_What if we tried_  
_What if I cried_  
_What if it's better tomorrow_  
_What if I followed your eyes_  
_I'm wondering_  
_What about me?_

I should've gone after him. I could have found him, begged him to come back. But he would have already gone miles away by the time I'd found the note.

_You said it, you meant it,_  
_you hung up the phone_  
_The talking in circles just set in stone_  
_You were gone, we were wrong all along_

I climbed over the railings and jumped off, tucking in my wings and free-falling to the earth. I only unfolded my wings at the last minute- I almost didn't want to. What was the point in living if Fang wasn't in my life?

"We're your reason for living." I almost screamed as Angel's voice filled my mind. "Don't abandon us, just like he did."

I huffed angrily and kept on flying, away from the house. I didn't dare look back, knowing she'd be at a window, watching me.

But I knew she was right.

_Now the past is the past and_  
_the bruises may fade_  
_But these scars are here to stay_

I knew I'd never get over this. This would stay with me forever. Or until twenty years from now, when he promised to come back for me. But I knew it was unlikely- we faced imminent death every day, who knew how much longer our good luck would last? And none of us knew our expiration dates. We probably wouldn't even be alive twenty years from now.

_What about you_  
_What about me_  
_What about fairy tale endings_  
_Were you just pretending to be_

Was Fang even thinking about me, when he'd written that note and just walked out of my life? Was he thinking about anyone? Now I was left to look after four kids on my own. Way to go Fang.

_I'm wondering_  
_What if we tried_  
_What if I cried_  
_What if its better tomorrow_  
_What if I followed your eyes_  
_I'm wondering_  
_What about me?_

I realised I was flying at way over 200 miles an hour, the way I always did when I was angry or upset. And I was taking the same path I'd taken last time I'd sped away from the Flock, when Fang had come after me. He'd been there for me then. Now he'd just abandoned me.

I came up to the tree I'd sat on when Angel had kicked me out and he'd come after me. I collapsed on a branch, looking around, hoping to see him somewhere. No one.

Except on the trunk. There was a tiny heart, carved in to the bark. I squinted at it, only able to see it in the dark due to my raptor vision.

There was an M and an F carved in to it.

_Stay away_

My heart beat faster. It didn't mean anything, I told myself. It could be anyone.

At 200m up?

_You'll fade away_

Suddenly, the heartache lessened just a_ teensy_ bit. I knew that Fang was trying to protect me and the Flock. And the Flock needed me. _You're not the only one upset_, I told myself stubbornly. _You need to be there for them._

_I'm not afraid anymore_

I'm Maximum Ride. I'm _never_ scared. I couldn't let this get to me.

_What about you_  
_What about me_  
_What about fairy tale endings_  
_Were you just pretending to be_  
_I'm wondering_  
_What if we tried_  
_What if I cried_  
_What if its better tomorrow_  
_What if I followed your eyes_  
_I'm wondering_  
_What about me?_

I flew back at a steady pace, feeling the charm Angel had made me banging against the base of my neck. I thought about the other half of the snake jaw.

Was he still wearing it?

He was. I had to believe that he was. It would make it easier to get through this.

_The city is sleeping, but_  
_I'm still awake_  
_I'm dreaming, I'm thinking_  
_what happened today is it right?_

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